I talked about how last year was a momentous year for me. It saw so many adventures and memories being made, studying, working and battling my health as well as dating. Whilst I was proud of the progress I made, a part of me struggled with the lingering aftermath that followed.
Proceed with caution,
For I am a wallflower with thorns,
I do not cut easily or bend to your will,
So please do not reach for me,
Unless you are prepared to nurture,
Or admire me for the rare beauty I offer.
One of my closest friends from university introduced me to ‘adventures’ and since then I’ve been hooked. We may see an adventure as something momentous, to go out to the world and explore or do something you’ve always dreamed of doing. Yet it doesn’t have to be daring or risky, as long as you leave each one with a great memory. She taught me how to fall in love with exploring cities and doing things I’d usually put off. What she taught me was that an important part of an adventure is what you make of it.
There are always opposites in life, the good with the bad as well as the light after the dark; and it’s oddly beautiful how we manage to balance them. So why is one seen as more desirable over the other? When both offer us something different and precious. It’s time to stop feeling scared of the dark.
I’ve found that I’ve felt more happier and less stressful since I decided to ‘work’ on myself. I’m making progress on being more positive, healthier and learning to ask for help; and I find I’m not alone as much anymore. Another aspect that has helped me battle against stress and fatigue has been adding a bit of a structure and routine.
I love those moments with you,
When we’re curled up in bed,
The storm blowing outside,
Rain knocking at the window,
Our arms and legs intertwined,
Conversations whispered in the twilight,
It makes me love you more.
Sometimes, it’s good to get outside for a bit and blow away the cobwebs. It gives me time to refocus and regroup so that I can better collect my thoughts so I can create pieces I’m more happy with. That said, with my condition, and being stuck in a bustling urban environment, it’s hard to seek out nature. Still there’s beauty to be found, if you know where to look.Read More »
I have been known to be a perfectionist, mostly with words, but often with myself. I’m my own worst critic and biggest doubter. It’s taken it’s toll on how I view myself. I’d be the first to put myself down, to prioritise others over myself and my health; and I no longer see the boundary in learning to laugh at myself or beating myself up for my shortcomings. I tend to find humour as a way to list my faults so no one can beat me to the punch, and it’s often a way to encourage others to treat me differently. If that’s how I see myself, why shouldn’t others? It was always okay because it was a joke, or perhaps I was, but then one day I stopped laughing.
I tend to put a lot of emphasis on making memories, especially of late. It could be said that life is fleeting, and all we really collect is memories we store in jars in our soul. Money, objects and sometimes people can be so temporary. A story or a memory can be somewhat permanent. I remember running through trees, having a secret hideaway, concerts, dates and laughing till I cried. It sounds so poetic that a part of me would love it to be this realisation that sparked my curiosity, but it wasn’t.
At times, I can overthink and stress about a situation before it’s happening. I know that often it’s worrying over nothing, but I can’t stop those thoughts creeping in. As I’ve been working on techniques to reduce stress and manage my anxiety better, there’s been a grounding method that I’ve been using to help manage my anxiety. Read More »