Expectations

I feel as if I take up all this space,

My laugh is loud like a bark,

My smile is too shy, it’s holding back,

My eyes are dull and my skin too pale,

I’m too short, with stubby legs and arms,

My weight smoothers me in its rolls,

I’m either a Plain Jane or just lazy with my appearance,

Yet I don’t quite look beautiful with makeup,

I look like a child or remind you of a spinster,

I’m not a girly girl or a tomboy neither,

If there is one label you can give me it’s that I’m weird,

And after all this, I’ve realised that I will never match up to your expectations.

Stuck

I cannot do right for wrong,

It’s like I’m walking on eggshells around you,

I try so hard to be better, to do better,

Yet I keep stumbling at the starting blocks,

One step forward and three million back,

I’m tearing myself into bits to fit inside your box,

The perfect cookie cutter image you want.

The more I seem to try, the further I get from,

Stuck as the disappointment you never wanted.