I’m biting my tongue,
Enough to make me bleed,
Holding back all the words,
I should have said,
For you to understand,
The hurt you inflict.
I’m biting my tongue,
Enough to make me bleed,
Holding back all the words,
I should have said,
For you to understand,
The hurt you inflict.
All these thoughts,
Screaming in my skull,
It’s like I can’t get the words-
Quick enough for you to understand,
I’m hurting.
I’m sorry,
I have let you down, again.
I’ll try and fix it,
I’m patching up my pieces,
Fixing my smile,
I’ll be better,
Just promise me,
You’ll be patient.
I wake and walk through,
What feels like quicksand,
Sinking deeper with each step,
Whilst everyone around me,
Carries on unencumbered,
Perhaps, I took a misstep?
Let the rain wash over my skin,
Absolve me of all the tears I cried,
Release me from this weight I’ve carried,
I need to start over and let go,
Help me find myself again.
Those words,
They’re like a hair-trigger,
The moment they leave your mouth,
I feel their barbed sting,
As if it were still a gift from him.
Bring me dead flowers,
Stand by the sidelines,
Watch me wilt at your words,
All over again
When you escape,
They never tell you-
What freedom entails,
The nightmares,
All the self-doubt,
Freezing at a word,
I thought I’d be free.
But I’m still haunted.
I’m alone on this island,
Everyone else gone ashore,
I sent them away, like I always do,
They shouldn’t see the wreck I leave,
In my storm.
Therapy,
I surrender myself to you,
Let the pain and the tears-
Wash over me and absolve,
So I might start to forgive myself,
For carrying the hurt you gave me.