Learning to explore

Sometimes, it’s good to get outside for a bit and blow away the cobwebs. It gives me time to refocus and regroup so that I can better collect my thoughts so I can create pieces I’m more happy with. That said, with my condition, and being stuck in a bustling urban environment, it’s hard to seek out nature. Still there’s beauty to be found, if you know where to look.

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See the best in yourself

I have been known to be a perfectionist, mostly with words, but often with myself. I’m my own worst critic and biggest doubter. It’s taken it’s toll on how I view myself. I’d be the first to put myself down, to prioritise others over myself and my health; and I no longer see the boundary in learning to laugh at myself or beating myself up for my shortcomings. I tend to find humour as a way to list my faults so no one can beat me to the punch, and it’s often a way to encourage others to treat me differently. If that’s how I see myself, why shouldn’t others? It was always okay because it was a joke, or perhaps I was, but then one day I stopped laughing.

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My postgrad: a reflection upon graduating

In life, I’ve always had moments where I couldn’t believe I did something or others where I wish I had, and didn’t out of fear. One of those moments was when I had wanted to pick up more techniques when it came to writing. I knew how to create free-verse poetry or short stories; but I didn’t know the first thing when it came to pacing and planning a novel; or the realities of building a career as a writer. I’d never stepped out of my comfort zone, and I thought it was about time I did.

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Why are making memories important?

I tend to put a lot of emphasis on making memories, especially of late. It could be said that life is fleeting, and all we really collect is memories we store in jars in our soul. Money, objects and sometimes people can be so temporary. A story or a memory can be somewhat permanent. I remember running through trees, having a secret hideaway, concerts, dates and laughing till I cried. It sounds so poetic that a part of me would love it to be this realisation that sparked my curiosity, but it wasn’t.

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When reflecting, learn to take note.

Part of my efforts this year, was to take a moment to reflect. I went from one thing to another, that at times, things tended to fly by in a blur. My efforts and progress weren’t really appreciated or celebrated. I wanted to take more time to do that this time around as well as continue moving forward. My plan to achieve this was to take a moment to think about what I need to work on. By doing this, it’ll create a more healthier perspective and environment for me so that I can stop and smell the flowers once in a while.

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Know Thy Worth

When you look in the rearview mirror, it’s true that you’ll see the past and what lies behind you clearer. I’d like to believe that we’re more objective of our past. We can use hindsight to see what should have been, and we can use it to teach us where to go from here – what lessons to take. The reflection in that mirror can also bring with it an old favourite of mine, nostalgia, a feeling I have lost myself in many times; and it is one, I know that helps me assign worth to memories, people and even myself. It isn’t full proof, so how can I ever be sure of my own worth?

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2019, My Carpe Diem.

At the start of last year, I wrote about resolutions being a blank slate to start our year on. It is a tradition that my family and friends participate in, and yet one that has made me think where I stand with it. Is it outdated and impossible in creating change or could it be something that generates real personal growth? As a new year starts anew, I begin thinking about it once more. What does it offer me this year? If it is like the last, I hope it one filled with excitement and many more happy memories.

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A Path to Happiness

As a writer, I often indulge myself in nostalgic memories of the past (of growing pains, heartache, adventures and clumsy encounters), and a part of me would be lying if I did not use those as a basis for my work; a way to reconcile or rejoice in that feeling than to use my words to burn bridges. Writing is my lens to view the world, like my mother has her camera, it is my way of making peace with myself.

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