Mistakes of my youth,
Rattle inside my brain,
Ghosts that weigh me down,
Sink me deeper into despair.
Mistakes of my youth,
Rattle inside my brain,
Ghosts that weigh me down,
Sink me deeper into despair.
I craved for empathy,
You gave me silence,
A void in which to grow.
An ocean sprang up in your wake,
To send me drowning in tears,
I wonder what you’d think,
Of the ruins you left behind,
If they haunt you in your afterlife,
Or are they my sins to bear?
Fuck apologising to you,
You are not my priority,
You never were, I was;
And I deserve better,
Than making you feel better,
By being your fall guy.
I needed you,
Hell, I waited for you,
But you never showed,
Was it because I wasn’t enough?
I have so much I wish I could talk to you about,
So many stories to share and memories to make;
I wish I could tell you about my first day at work,
Or how I’ve been thinking of learning something new,
How I followed your advice and saw more of the world.
I’d even talk to you about the weather when I ran out of news to share.
Hear you chuckle and reminisce over days gone by,
Share a table outside on your bench, a cup of tea in hand,
We’d watch the world float by on clouds,
I’d give anything to hear you over the silence I’ve had since you left.
Sitting across from me,
Palms on the table,
Eyes blank and searching,
I wish you’d just say it,
Tell me you’re sorry,
Even if you’re not,
So we can try again.
I am an option,
One you’ll tire of,
When another of yours,
Posts a sexier photo than I.
Towards the end of last year, I learnt the valuable lesson in self-care by staying firm with my boundaries, even at the risk of conflict and saying goodbye to a few people in my life. This year seems to be a fight and a test of strength, but if it’s taught me anything, it’s that I can heal and celebrate my inner child.
Read More »Let sunshine fill my days,
May I bottle it, keep a jar,
For a rainy day that drowns me,
May the rays keep me warm,
Until I find the right path to be on.