I forgot the other half of me,
The one who hurts and cries at night,
I wish I knew how to heal,
Is it just enough to still be breathing?
Flying Solo
Are we a storm over an ocean?
Drifting further apart,
I just wish you would hold me again,
But I’m in this boat alone,
You’ve disappeared once more on the wind.
Why are goodbyes hard?
I don’t want to say goodbye,
It feels too soon,
We didn’t have enough time,
Why do you have to leave me?
You chose her
You chose her,
Neither of us knew,
We just papered over the cracks,
Sinking deeper into an abyss,
I knew we could never survive that,
Not after you stopped holding my hand.
Little moments with you
The feel of your kiss on my lips,
Your arms around my waist,
Those whispered conversations,
To daydream of those moments,
Makes counting down the days easier.
Your Eyes
Those eyes,
I could get lost in them,
Find new shores,
The promise of adventure,
A bliss I never knew.
A Fleeting Happy Moment
I am happy,
That’s enough for me,
To sit and be,
With a smile,
For once.
Should I feel flattered?
Should I feel flattered?
That you snap at my heels,
Begging for scraps off my plate,
If you think I’m threatened,
How mistaken are you?
You are not my competition,
Just a simple obstacle to skirt,
Now watch and learn from me,
The etiquette you should have.
Therapy of a Blank Page
I wonder if this is my therapy,
Speaking to a blank page,
It was always easier than-
Reading the disappointment on your face.
Don’t Speak For Me
I am not your mouthpiece,
For your ideas to spout from,
There is no label or idea-
That can compel me to side with you,
Stop trying to make me your puppet.
Time is a thief
Time is a thief,
It stole you from me,
Leaving me with memories,
That I wish to relive,
So I could hear your voice again.
I’m yours
The way you hold my hand,
I’ll never forget your smile,
Or your laugh that dances with mine,
How we talk late into the night,
When I’m wrapped in your arms,
That’s when I knew you stole it,
Heart, body and soul,
I’m yours.
Warrior
I took a breath,
Had a break,
Let it all sink in,
Now it’s time I get up,
Fight another day,
Be the warrior,
I was always meant to be.
This Dream Is Taken
Do I need to repeat myself?
You cannot take what isn’t yours,
Stepping on people’s toes,
It’s never a good look,
So if you want what I have,
Look elsewhere, this dream is taken.
Wrong Time
Have you ever met someone at the wrong time?
The deal that is too good to be true,
That’s how I feel about you and I.
We are never meant to be.
Passing The Time
I imagine all the conversations we’d have,
These silly in-jokes and laughing over nothing,
Then I realise we’ll never have that,
You don’t see me in that way,
I’m just someone to pass the time with.
A Losing Battle
Why won’t you fight for me?
As I once did for you,
I see that look on your face,
You’ve given up on us,
So, do you really expect me to watch?
I don’t think so.
Thunderstorms
There is a storm inside me,
I let it rage inside,
Feel the thunder build,
Lightening on my tongue,
Dare to cross me-
And you will learn dear,
That I will leave you in ruins.
Dial tone
I used to wait for your call,
Waiting to see if things changed,
They never did, we are oceans apart,
In distance and personality,
Only now has the penny dropped,
That I have to let you go all over again.
People Have Edges
I knew the edge I flirted with,
But I never expected you-
To fall along with me,
Side by side,
Into disaster, a shipwreck,
Waiting to happen.
Sunflower Kisses
Think of my love,
Like a sunflower,
A kiss of summer,
That lasts forever,
I adore you, darling.
Liar
Why would you lie to my face?
I know what happened,
Still you choose to pretend,
Do I mean so little?
What is wrong with you?
I can’t believe you,
The arrogance,
To cross the boundary,
Do you even know where the line is?
Or are you determined to fuck me over?
History Repeating
I am tired of trying,
Waiting in the middle,
For you to meet me there,
When you’re too busy,
With someone else,
Giving them the same lies,
That you told me.
Burdened with Thoughts
You make me feel like a burden,
Wire my mouth shut so I can’t speak,
So you don’t have to hear my pain,
You want me to be the strong one,
To carry the mistakes for the both of us.
Hidden Meanings
I thought you understood,
We were on the same page,
Or were all the words I said-
Devoid of all meaning to you?
It’s almost funny really,
You say you love me,
And yet you still continue to hurt me.
The Stories We Tell
Make it convincing,
I want to believe-
The story you weave,
The lies you tell,
How could you hurt me?
If I pretend not to see.
Beware of Friends hiding knives
I really thought you were different,
But when it came down to it,
You still stuck the knife in me anyway.
Heatwaves are People
You feel oppressive,
A heatwave caught on my skin,
Sizzling across me with words,
You’re suffocating me,
Yet a storm is brewing,
Soon it’ll wash you away.
Guide
If there were no stars,
I wonder if I’d look to you,
To guide me.
Biting My Tongue
I’m biting my tongue,
Enough to make me bleed,
Holding back all the words,
I should have said,
For you to understand,
The hurt you inflict.
A Storm Inside
I admire a storm,
The power it holds,
To settle the one,
I hold in my chest,
My own hurricane.
Ancestral Ruins
I wonder what our ancestors would say,
If they stood before us,
Would they be proud of all we’ve built,
Or disappointed, that despite all this,
We are still ruined as people.
A Bruised Heart
Be still my heart,
It breaks too easily,
Upon the words,
Softly spoken,
All our promises broken,
By a lover that-
Has fallen out of love.
A Thousand Goodbyes
There are a thousand goodbyes,
Hidden in my soul,
Why did one of them have to belong to you?
Pain Has A Home
Pain has a way of settling,
It hollows out a spot,
Sinking into our bones,
To make a home out of us.
I waited
I waited, again,
Despite my better judgement,
And you proved me wrong,
People can’t change,
Not if they don’t want to.
Living with Anxiety
I hope in the next life,
That we never meet,
I’ll never be broken by words,
Reshaping my smile,
To mask my unhappiness,
At living with a monster, like you.
Talk to Me
Why don’t you talk more?
They ask me, and when I do,
No words fall from my mouth,
It’s not because there aren’t any,
There’s a universe of them inside me,
I just know that none of it matters,
They’re not the right words to make you stay.
Seeds of Friendship
Friends are like flowers,
When a seed is nurtured,
It’ll blossom and bloom,
To love and acceptance,
Or it will wilt under pressure,
And give you a blank canvas,
To start and plant anew,
And meet your people.
Blossom as a Wildflower
To the one to forget,
I’ve learnt my lesson now,
I know my place,
From which, I will bloom,
Now that we’re parted.
Read The Room
I’m finding it hard to read the room,
Are we friends or are we foes?
You say how much you love me,
Yet you left me bleeding on the floor.
A Game of Chance
Do you ever play that game,
Explore all those little ‘What Ifs?’
Would life have looked different,
Or would we have been destined,
To meet when we did, on the crossroads.
Thinking Out Loud
All these thoughts,
Screaming in my skull,
It’s like I can’t get the words-
Quick enough for you to understand,
I’m hurting.
A Fair Weathered Warning
I’m sorry,
I have let you down, again.
I’ll try and fix it,
I’m patching up my pieces,
Fixing my smile,
I’ll be better,
Just promise me,
You’ll be patient.
The Weight of Depression
I wake and walk through,
What feels like quicksand,
Sinking deeper with each step,
Whilst everyone around me,
Carries on unencumbered,
Perhaps, I took a misstep?
My Anxiety is a Gremlin
It’s eating away at me,
Clawing from the inside,
Thise sense of dread,
That I’ve done something wrong,
Again.
Rainwater
Let the rain wash over my skin,
Absolve me of all the tears I cried,
Release me from this weight I’ve carried,
I need to start over and let go,
Help me find myself again.
Stung
Those words,
They’re like a hair-trigger,
The moment they leave your mouth,
I feel their barbed sting,
As if it were still a gift from him.
Graveside
Bring me dead flowers,
Stand by the sidelines,
Watch me wilt at your words,
All over again
2021’s Year in Books: Part Two
As you know, I am on a journey to reach my reading goal for the year. For those who’ve just joined in, you can read part one, here; but here is the second instalment to what I’ve been flicking through. Warning, minor spoilers ahead!
Read More »Disability & Me
My partner and I were talking today about people’s opinions when it came to disability. Talk of how law should change to reflect and encompass what it means to be ‘differently abled’ and how that affects how you’re seen to others. Most importantly how you’re seen to those who aren’t walking a mile in your shoes.
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Bohotea 